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Dance with the Devil |
| By: Megan Derr
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| In a world of demons, goblins, witches, gremlins, sirens, werewolves, and vampires, it can be difficult to determine who is guilty of what and why. Chris White is a detective who fearlessly investigates this supernatural world, himself a unique product of it. From strange rituals and runaway vampires, to fighting sorcerers and cornering a demon lord, this paranormal detective will take any case - so long as its interesting enough. |
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Full books downloaded: 15
First chapter downloaded: 129 time(s) |
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Price: $2.50 Number of words: 51800
Comments: 12 |
Rating First Chapter:
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Rating Full Book:
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| Keywords: mystery, supernatural, slash, romance, fantasy, fiction, demon, detective, magic, paranormal, vampire, werewolf, ghost |
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| Comments (12) Add a comment |
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| The over all style and layout of the chapters is amazing. It allows a reader to gain small amounts of information early on in the story before providing it all in detail and sophisticated description. I couldn't stop reading once I had begun. It's a world that you cant help but get lost in.
The chapter called 'Phils Case' was probably my favourite. Just because when you compare it to the first chapter, you are able to see the way in which the characters have grown and developed. And because Phil is Love. |
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Comments for: Full book Posted By: shannon_the_cat Posted Date: 2008-05-18 |
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| A solid piece of work with just a few glaring minor errors (eg. 'witch' for 'which'). In a couple of places, punctuation improvements would make the narrative flow more, and there are instances where a short sentence might read better if attached to its neighbour, but really very little to criticise. Good luck in the competition. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: oldchesnut Posted Date: 2008-05-15 |
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| In general, I feel your novels are stronger than your short story collections. However, to me, Dance with the Devil is your strongest short story collection. It's the classical detective novel with a supernatural twist, and it's executed well. Also the structure with the case files is unique and adds a unique back and forth pacing that allows the reader to piece together the happenings as though they, too, are solving a mystery. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: stardance Posted Date: 2008-05-11 |
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| The spelling is good, and the dialogue moves, but the book seems shackled by the cliches and the predictabilty of the story. Better descriptions of the settings might have helped, but some unique turn or reversal would have made it much better. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: ciaran Posted Date: 2008-05-11 |
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| Nice to have this one in e-book version. :) |
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Comments for: Full book Posted By: Adriana Roman Posted Date: 2008-05-09 |
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| Nicely written. Tight. Great dialogue and descriptions...and I loved this: "Whoever arranged it must have wanted to commit suicide or kill her." Beautiful! |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: Greebosears Posted Date: 2008-05-09 |
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| One of my favourite stories, really. But I might be biased. Your website is a sort of fiction sanctuary for me! |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: CelticMist Posted Date: 2008-05-07 |
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| I agree with Douglas there. Regardless of other comments, I thought it would be better to add more imagery and thought to the characters. I did like the dialog for the fact that it created the characters, but it all seemed very rushed. I guess that's to be expected of a case file, but it started and ended rather quickly. I only noted the urgency from Sable because it was his birthday, but I just felt like I flew too quickly through the entire chapter without a peek that wrapped up into it's conclusion. (Though that doesn't mean I didn't like the ending. X3) |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: MoonKitsune Posted Date: 2008-05-06 |
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| I think this first story is still one of my favorites from Dance with the Devil. It's a good introduction to Christian, and a surprising one for Sable. Relationships are the strength of this series, and the first chapter sets a few future ones in place.
I also enjoy the non-linear timeline of the 'files.' |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: Liviania Posted Date: 2008-05-05 |
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| I loved it! Spicey and mysterious, just like Megan! Cho cho luv ya |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: landry Posted Date: 2008-05-05 |
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| Dear Megan,
Seems an interesting story, from the first chapter. As your hero also wears glasses, and has the same name as me, I felt I had to post a comment.
Not really my cup of tea, but then Dickens was rejected 52 times,so who really cares about opinions?
Well written, but I didn't catch the plot. Maybe that's just me.
Perhaps a bit more 'bite' in the opening scene ('scuse the pun), and a little less dialogue?
Best of luck. See you in the next round, I hope!
Douglas Pearce
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: douglas pearce Posted Date: 2008-05-05 |
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| I've read this story several, several times over your LJ and your website, and this piece continues to be one of my favorites of all your work. Alas, I can't really download the entire book, but I still love DWTD. This first chapter isn't one of my favorites, but its one of the better chapters--I remember I liked the werewolf and vampire chapters the least for some reason. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: twilightfire Posted Date: 2008-05-05 |
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