| Comments (10) Add a comment |
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| This is a real page turner. From the word go too, which is unusual. Great! |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: malcolm Posted Date: 2008-11-06 |
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| A good story, well conceived and with interesting characters. What let it down for me was the technical side. The prologue switches viewpoint, from his driver to Christopher, as he enters the house. The paragraph formatting throughout would benefit from reverting to a more traditional style, and I found conversations frustrating when a character's speech was boken into paragraphs even though he continued speaking - using quotation marks seemed a little arbitrary, too.
I'm sure the whole piece would benefit enormously from a good edit, improving its flow and readability. Good luck because I think this could be a cracking yarn with a bit of work. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: oldchesnut Posted Date: 2008-05-16 |
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| Hello readers, author speaking! My thanks to everyone who has looked at my book, my first and the first of what I hope will be a trilogy about loves and losses and the Second World War. I have taken note of the fact that, while lots of you have looked at the first chapter, relatively few have been tempted to try the whole book. I have guessed that the Prologue may be my problem. Consequently I have changed it to give it greater traction into the story. It's all there, but what exactly is going on here? I need you to wonder! I hope past readers will be tempted to have another go and that new readers will enjoy what I have done. It's an adventure story, a tale of love, loss, peace and War. Have Fun! |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: christopher lucas Posted Date: 2008-04-21 |
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| I really enjoyed this book. The historical detail is great, the descriptions are lovely, it all flows beautifully and it takes you to a completely different world. After the first few chapters it becomes unputdownable. |
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Comments for: Full book Posted By: Julieblowfish Posted Date: 2008-03-22 |
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| Very, very slow in the beginning. Hard to read, very crammed together. More paragraphs, more white needs to be seen. Double space it. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: Mongoose Posted Date: 2008-03-16 |
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| Full book rating from Deborah Thornton - This is a very good book. It is a good read, but it also has interesting thoughts about War, gradually presented and developed through the book. I shall read it again more slowly, but meanwhile I am really looking forward to having it published on paper, easier to handle, ( and I hope with the later parts of the book as well proof-read as the beginning ) so that I can share it with friends. It is in any case a good adventure story. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: admin Posted Date: 2008-03-16 |
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| Opening of prologue a bit slow and uninteresting. Overall, I did want to read on. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: Sandr572 Posted Date: 2008-03-15 |
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Very good book, I almost could not put it down once it gets going. 22 years old Cristopher, son of an impoverished Irish aristocrat with a young women problem and a very wealthy American heiress with a young men problem, gets a history degree from Trinity and decides to escape the unwelcome attentions of his father's latest "guest".
So he takes the spiky car his mother bought him as a 21st birthday from "parental remorse" to head to mainland Europe and see what happens in Germany, France...
It's 1938 and Christopher being and looking "aryan" gets in with a Hitler Youth group that is on a fruit harvesting holiday, but he is also fascinated with a mysterious young woman who resides at the same hotel with him and finding out her name and residence he decides to visit the South of France; and from here the book really gets very interesting. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: Liviu_5 Posted Date: 2008-03-07 |
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| I printed out the first chapter a while ago. It lay by my bed until I picked it up in the early hours of the morning during one of those sleepless nights, hoping it would send me to sleep... Unfortunately it was so compelling that I had to get up in the middle of the night, download the whole book immediately and take my laptop to bed in order to continue reading.
Excellent, teasing prologue and I'm hoping the book, which I haven't finished yet, will live up to the promise of the opening chapter. |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: Paul Millin Posted Date: 2008-02-18 |
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| lovely use of description and it all flows beautifully |
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Comments for: First chapter Posted By: Julieblowfish Posted Date: 2008-01-03 |
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